he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
