Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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