I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
