before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
