the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
