i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
