i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
