What a fucking waste of an outfit
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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