Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
