and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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