Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize