I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i barfeds in our rink
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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