i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
