when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I didn't notice because vodka
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
