What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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