Got a toothbrush?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
