I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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