Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Im just a social blackout drinker.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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