Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
