For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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