And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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