take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize