I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize