WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
