I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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