I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
