I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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