I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You made out with two different species that night
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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