The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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