I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
