I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
