I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
