if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
