Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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