Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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