I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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