whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
