He asked to "fluff my boner.."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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