belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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