He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
