Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
