MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
