You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We have started to decorate penises.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
