Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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