I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
