My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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