Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
