you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
