I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
