We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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