i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
