whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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