I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
