I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
