You're completely useless in the revolution.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
