Dual....:-)
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
