508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
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