the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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