I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize